I went to the doctor and explained to him, "My penis fell off." The doctor gives me an odd look, and then chops his off to make me feel better.

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Why doesn't Micheal Jackson do a music video with Usher? Because he is dead.

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Q: Were did suzy go after the explosion? A: Everywere

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What's slower than mollasses? Your fattass mother!

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I'm 23, just like most people my age.

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Fun Fact: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown.

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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I wont be arriving soon alright, I mean I am a overachiever for many reasons many of them not exactly "gifts" (such as the pain I cant shut up about but focus on other things such as my goal surely keeps my mind occupied enough). Thanks about the looks comment, used to think I was pretty good looking myself, so if I am more than the looks, then I really like that one (I know I am being a bit brash, but I haven't felt this... Better in a long time, and if hell if I will fake low self confidence, modesty is not my thing when I am not in the mood to be charming) By the way, Alice is quoting me, and having a laugh doing so apparently, lets just say I wont be typing myself ever again, my fingers are not... Useful, and honestly typing with one hand was always a bitch. Enough about me, ill have one of "my shadows" send you money for a first class (seriously you have spent enough on me, and now that my city is making a revenue and still advancing, its my turn to return whatever I can) Tell your parents you won the lottery and share some of the money with them I am sending you a bit extra so to speak. And ffs do not worry about my body, not even sure if I will walk again and speaking, well while it hurts (Alice is laughing again) people here concluded I would live for faaar longer than their first prognosis since I never been a fan of shutting up, and as I told them, my mouth will keep yapping about 200 years after I die, so no problemo. Ill send you a first class to... Nvm you take the money, and come around whenev... You know what? Ill send a plane, yeah, because we can afford that, not yours to keep but you know...

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Charles Manson is innocent.

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Whats 89 x 67? Sponge. Whats 10 + 9? 19 Whats 9 + 10? 21!

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What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

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Well Erron, its your lucky day then. I wont even ask what a cream pie is.

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I rated up my joke then opened a new tab went to Anti-Jokes.com and rated it again. Problem antijokes?

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man, i read a lot but the are some words i can pronounce

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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Why did Sheryl Go to the Bathroom? Cause she had Direha...........

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If this becomes top-viewed I will post more milk related jokes

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What did the monk say to the 1 legged, Asian prostitute Nothing, Monks take a vow of silence.

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why am I who i am, and you are who you are? dick spice

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What's the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Why did Susan fall off the swing? -Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan.

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why did Suzy play jump rope with the neighbors kids? She had no legs!

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Whats black and white and musty? A nuns pussy because it never gets used.

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What did the black man say to the white man? "I like your shirt" The black man walked off and lived out the rest of his days in peace.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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