how do you keep a bunch of black kids from jumping on the bed? your real firm with them and tell them someone may hurt themselves if they don't stop with the horseplay..

What did the mushroom say to the carrot? Is this even important given the current state of world affairs?

A blind man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He has gotten used to being blind all his life.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Two friends were running late for their school gathering. As they arrived the train station, one friend said 'Quick, we need to catch the train!' The other replied, 'Can't we just get in it?'

6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9

Hey, you know what sucks about being blind? You can see.

Roses are red Violets are blue I've tested positive for herpes We probably shouldn't have intercourse

How does Moses make his Tea? Hebrews it.

why couldn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell of a building? She was wearing mittens.

What starts with f and end in uck Firetruck

German bedtime story: There once was a boy who liked to suck his thumbs. His mother told him to stop, but he wouldn't. So she cut of his thumbs. Now he has none. Goodnight.

Why wasn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She didnt get her driver license...

Knock knock. Who's there? Ted. Come in.

There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

roses are red,violets are blue,faces like yours belong in a zoo,but don't worry i'll be there to,not in a cage but laughing at you!

What do democrats and fire have in common? They both do damage

Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No?

Why did the black guy go to jail? Because he committed an illegal crime.

Who paved the road? The fat guy with the steam roller

Q: why cant elvis draw a picture. A: cause hes dead.

What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A Coffin.

You life story is the perfect cure for insomnia. [L]

Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Whose. There? Not Susie.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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