Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the horse escape from his stable? He didn't. He stayed there all night and his owner took him out the next day as the weather was beautiful.

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What happens when lady gaga and chris brown jump into the pool at the same exact time. They get wet

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Statistics show That people with the most birthdays Live the longest

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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what do you do when you see a injured black man screaming in pain rolling on the ground assist him or call 911 depending how severe the injury is

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What do you do if a bird shuts on your windscreen? A:never take her out again.

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Why did the clown go to jail? For 23 charges of rape and murder.

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Why does girls have two left feet and two left hands? Because girls have no rights.

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Whats better than having 5 dollars? Having 5 dollars and a pizza

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What's red and smells like metal? A tricycle. It's covered in blood.

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Why did the student shoot his teacher? Because he was super depressed and was just diagnosed with stage four brain cancer. And he was black.

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Loperson

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Q: What do you call someone who cant swim? A: A person that cant swim.

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someone had sex with Justin bieber end result Justin went into labor

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whats the difference between a brick wall and a jew? jews wear yamakas

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What do you call a dog with no legs? What ever you want, its still not going to come.

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Q: What is Tarzan's favorite Christmas Carol? A: None. He was raised by gorillas, who are unlikely to have ever heard of Christmas.

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How do you make a clown sad? Brutally murder his children.

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Knock knock Who's there? Impatient Hellen Keller. Impatient Hellen Keller who? ...

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Hearing this joke again.

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Q: Why was the balloon scared of unicorns? A: Buses dont exist therefore the balloon was just insane.

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What do you call a black man approaching your car in uniform whose name happens to be Darius? Officer Darius.

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ur dug has tits <3 from Alec Bamford xxxxxxxx<3<3<3xxxxxx QAHS 4life

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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