What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

on a scale from a banana to a pound coin - how much do you like the works of antonio vivaldi?

What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

What's worse then breaking your xbox? Going on a 24 kill streak and having itchy balls.

What do you call a boy with one eye and no arms. -Mean names.

What did the black man say when he noticed his crack was missing? I guess they fixed the sidewalk while I was at work.

What do you call a bunch of black people hanging out in a barn? African American farmers socializing.

Why did the monkey eat the pineapple? IDK, ask Sam D

What did the old man say when those damn kids stepped on his lawn? Nothing one of those kids killed him around three years back....

What's bigger than a horse ? An elephant.

Why did Greg move to the Lake District? Because his dog died and the family is in mourning.

Hey can you turn Tmartn upI can't hear him

An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

An asian man, a black man, and a white man walk into a bar. All three of them order a scotch, coincidentally this is their favorite beverage.

What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. Q: The one stopped. Why? A: His brother fell off, cracked his head, started uncontrollably bleeding and died.

What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

how do you boil oil? add b to oil

What is Hitler's least favorite month? July...

Two horses are playing in a field, One says to the other "Hey, sup" they then continue playing.

Did you hear about Billy's magic trick? No? Don't worry, it was a trick question.

What do you call a black person who was in the U.S. army and survived WWII? A veteran, considering he fought a war and is still alive.

Q: What's the best way to eat lasagna A: With a fork, although a spoon is a fine substitute

What do you call a poldo thats hafl poldo a

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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