Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

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what is the difference between a car salesman and a lawyer? a car salesman sells cars to people while a lawyer is an expert in law.

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How do you make a 6-year-old cry again? Tell him that without further change to the system, he'll end up paying $100,000 for school and then not have a job when he graduates.

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Yo momma so poor, she can't afford to live in a two story Cheerio box

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Women. One of the genders a human can be.

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Women's rights

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Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

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Jesus, Buddha and Mohamed walked into a bar and say: "There is as much validity in this fiction as in our collective works.

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A dog was driving his car down the road right? Wrong dogs can't drive cars

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I lost The Game, You just did too.

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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what brown, red, and green and smells like poop. diareeha

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Reading books

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Harry Styles! - Louis

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If an ice cream van goes out of business, who drove the Jeep into the furniture store? To get to the other side.

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Colon Right Parentheses For all of the confused people out there that's :)

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A dyslexic man gets asked what 1+1 is, he replies with a wopping 11. Grats <3

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Q: Why couldn't the black man swim? A: Because ever since he was a child, he has never taken swimming lessons before.

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A blind man walks into a bar. But he wasn't hurt badly and continued on his way.

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the canadian, the chinese man, and the black guy walk into the at different times and buy different things

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops