A man ate a lot of ice cream he had double bypass surgery 3 months later

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What was Hellen Kellers biggest mistake? Knock knock jokes

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Want to hear a joke? Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How many dead babies does it take to paint a car? It depends on how fast you drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." "No soap, radio," replies the second one. "Oh, you want me to turn on the shower radio?" "Yeah, it's too quiet in here. I could use some tunes." The first polar bear turns on the radio. "Now pass me the soap, please," he says. The second bear passes him the soap, he washes his face and neck, and then they both get out and towel off. The second bear switches off the radio before they leave the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats the difference between pizza and a Jewish person? Pizza doesnt scream when being put into an oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what do you call a black man in the dark? missing.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Daddy look! Roses! No son, those are rhododendrons... Daddy how do you spell rhododendrons? Uh... never mind son those are roses. So... Daddy how do you spell roses? Son, never mind that is a dog. So daddy how do you spell... SHUT UP! Moral: I put a spell on you.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what's worse than fining out that the best and worst jokes on anti-joke.com are about the Holocaust The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -24

fuck you you punkass piece of shit I hope you burn in my uncle's titties and ass rape yourself while screaming "make it stop!'. Then, I hope that you take a titanic needle and shove it up your lower kidney until it tears open and all your bodily fluids spill out into an ocean of shit. Also, I have 73 balls with a ballsack for each ball. So, I have 73 ballsacks.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

So a black man steals a bike Because it was unlocked, and that was just poor planning.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

John: Knock Knock! Bill: Who's there John: John Bill: Oh hey John, come in

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: Why couldn't the black man swim? A: Because ever since he was a child, he has never taken swimming lessons before.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

1100110001012....HOLY S@&$ A 2!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats black and is on sale in shops? Blackberries.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What's better than winning the lottery? Winnig the lottery twice.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I like Pi. It can make circles.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

the canadian, the chinese man, and the black guy walk into the at different times and buy different things

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you make a person cry? Burn his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A blind man walks into a bar. But he wasn't hurt badly and continued on his way.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the customer say to the waitier? "I think I'll have the special."

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What did the paper say to the pen? Nothing, they are inanimate objects!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why doesn't God answer prayers? God does answer prayers, but He does not want you to have everything you want just by asking it, He wants you to work for what you have, everything happens for a reason. ... Nah, it's because God does not exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops