What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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What do you call a scottish drunk? a taxi

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the Mortgage company. You haven't payed your loans. The man loses his house and becomes homeless.

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dry handjob

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Why can't Johnny ride a bike? Because Johnny is a potato.

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Why did the fall off the building? ... because I pushed her

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A black man, a white man and a Mexican walk into a bar. They have a beer, enjoy some pleasant conversation, then go home to their families.

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did you hear the joke about the lobster and the clownfish? no.. oh.

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I know you are but what am I? Gay.

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What has eight wheels and cost more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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What do you call a black man who has been killed? A dead person.

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Nickleback.

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Q:What do you call a black man flying a plane? A: An over-used anti-joke

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he was to busy watching porn. And then was hit by a truck.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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why couldnt the polish people live in the outhouse? because the mexicans in the basement were too noisy

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a Mexican and a bench is a bench.

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okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

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Q. What is a similarly between Jewa and Pizza. A. There both baked in a over

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Women's rights

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Which is longer? A rope...

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What did Charlie do when he lost his golden ticket? He killed his grandpa to get it back.

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An anorexic women walks into McDonalds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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