What did the dog say to the cat? I don't know actually

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seven guys rob a bank, they share it in this ratio 2:2:2:4:2:5:2 who got the most money? you don't know

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What's old and baggy? An old bag.

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4 out of 4 questions. You want to cross the lake, but alligators live in that river. How do you get across? The alligators aren't there. They're all at the lion king's meeting.

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yo mamma is so fat when people look at her they say "you're fat"

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The indistinguishable bug corrupts a bond arrow.

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Onions are like loved ones... They are both nouns. And you cry when you cut into them.

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC. I can't walk or talk, and I'm a Stephen Hawkings

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How do you get a child off a swing? Throw a fridge at him

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was already in the oven.

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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Why did the farmer's wife leave the farm? Because she was a lesbian.

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What did the trucker say when his hat blew out the window? "**** my hat!" What did the teenager say when the same thing happened to him in his small car? The same thing, except he was a teenager, driving a small car.

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Your mother is so nice, I saw her while grocery shopping and we pleasantly chatted. She also remembered my name and invited me to come over sometime and have a snack.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Why did the girl gO shopping?! Because she got paid and wanted to blow(;

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A blonde goes in an electronic store. She buys a TV and leaves.

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A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond all jump off a cliff, which one will hit the ground last? Since the acceleration of gravity is 9.8 m/s they will all hit the ground simultaneously and with enough force to completly shatter their bodys making body recovery extreemly difficult. They must have had a hard life.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Cancer.

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Student: This guy is bothering me! Teacher: And you expect me to do something about it?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Peer pressure

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What did the man say to the other man? Hi

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Why did the kid have a toy truck? because he bought it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops