Knock-knock? Who's there? I... I dunno I was planning on thinking of a joke before you said who's there, but I ran out of time.

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What do you call a generally un likeable person who has a habit of drinking in a bar? A Bastard.

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Does anyone know any good ways to piss off an Grammar Nazi?

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Well... At that time everyone expected that the only people that knew hypnosis where either "born with the gift from the stars" or was some old beard man that spent "hundreds of years in the mountains".or a wizard or a shamanic priest, or well some guy in a particular stupid suit of sorts, it increased its potency simple as that, as having people stare at me and laugh because "You are not some beardy guru master" is a pretty bad start for the effective use of mass hypnosis. Mono-ideoism actually just means really concentrated focus on a single object or state of mind, the thing about the name (aside from sounding kinda mono-idiotic) is that strong focus alone does NOT lead to a state of relaxation which is one of the prime requirements to achieve a state of trance, I mean try focusing on something really hard and your body produces a huge amount of beta waves, aka stress. All of that is bullshit, but my horrible childhood did leave me with the "gift" to space out pretty quickly, so I learned it pretty fast without really knowing what it was at first.

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what do you call an elephant crossing a fish? a elephant fish

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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What do you get when you put a frog in a paper shredder? Harshly punished by the Animal Humane Society

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roses are red so are the jews every one loved that holocaust news

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Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

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One day a man runs into a bar. He is already drunk and jumps through the window. This is illeagal, so he was arrested, stoned and killed.

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Dos Equis took down chuck Norris

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why did the photographer take so many pictures? Because he gets paid.

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do you currently smoke? i hope not.

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Why did the man say ow? He got his dick caught in his zipper.

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Why did the black man eat the fried chicken? He was hungry

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How do you stop a car? Put on the Brake

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Roses are Red Violets are Purple Not blue

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Why did the chicken run across the road? It was 9/11

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9

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What did Washington say to his men before they got into the boat? Men, get in the boat!

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Why was the gay guy sad?

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whats small and tickles? pubic lice

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How did the man open the car? He opened in.

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Whats black and hangs from the my tree? A tire swing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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