Why can't Helen Kellen drive? She's a woman.

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What did the girl with two broken legs give her parents for Christmas? Medical bills.

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Your so ugly that your birth certeficate is a apology letter from the condum factory

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What did Timmy say when the bus crashed? Nothing, it was a horrible crash, he died like everyone else. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Timmy.

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what happens when u mix a car, a blimp and a plane? I don't know.

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Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

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Why did the monkey fall off the tree? It died.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers... how about you.

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Have I ever told you that you looked beautiful? No. Ok, good.

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why doesnt bally lifeguard he isnt qualified

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What do Native Indians and Asian Indians have in common? They're both human.

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A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day, he finds an old lamp. When he rubs it, a genie appears. The genie says, "You have freed me. As a reward, I will grant you three wishes." The man smacks himself in the face and mutters, "Oh god, I'm seeing genies now. I must be delirious from lack of food and water." Several hours later, he dies.

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A middle-aged white woman is walking toward a building, talking on her cellphone to a friend. She says, "Yes, I can meet you for lunch in a few hours. I have to go to the unemployment office to sign up for benefits. It's going to be horrible. It'll probably be full of black people." Standing in line, she is incredibly uncomfortable and horrified, because there is a black man right behind her, and she is stuck standing next to him for a long time. Finally it's her turn, and she steps up to the counter. The clerk asks her, "And what did you do for a living?" She answers, "I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom in a Blockbuster store that closed down." The clerk says, "Fill out this paperwork and take it to window #2." As she turns around, she is once more repulsed by the black man who is standing right there. Now that it's his turn, he steps to the counter, and the clerk asks him, "And what did you do for a living?" He answers, "I was the senior vice president of global strategic development for Eastman Kodak."

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Q: Why did the koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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One day a farmer was planting his crops. All of a sudden he was hit by the magic school bus.

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What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

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This is an anti-anti-joke.

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I heard you like getting dirty, so I got a dump truck to dump dirt on your bed so you can get dirty while you get dirty.

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Where is Osama now? Telling this joke.

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once upon a time joey was on a roller coaster. Joey fell off the roller coaster and died.

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what do trees and humans have in common? they both fall down when you hit them with an axe.

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Why was the Energizer Bunny arrested? He was found guilty of two acts of murder in the first degree.

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What ended my last relationship? Oncoming traffic.

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how do you make my dad say oww? throw a baseball bat at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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