How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

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Knock Knock? Who's There? Not a Jehovah's Witness, let me in!

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why did the man lose his testicle? he had cancer

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? Put her in a circular room and tell her to find the corner.

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What do you call an 8 year-old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

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Yo momma so fat,she went on a diet and now exersizes regularly

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what did the jew say when the arab threw rocks at him? He didnt, the israeli air force proceeded to fire white phosphorous missiles and annihalated many small children and babies in the process, the aftermath is still around today.

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Come In!

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This one time at band camp music was played.

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Yeah, I mean to be honest with you, I get that one a lot.

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What do you call a man without any money? Broke.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

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Why does life suck? Because it does

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Q:What Did The Man Say When He Lost His Body A:Nothing He Die. Because If You Ever Lost Your Body You Would Die...

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How do you make a plumber cry? Tell him that Luigi beat him to the princess

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What's funnier than cancer? Just about anything. There's nothing funny about terminal illnesses.

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What do bicycles and platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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What was the last song those aboard the Titanic sang? "Staying alive"

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How come the man couldnt read the directions? He was reading it upside down.

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If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You're adopted and Santa Claus isn't real

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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