whats brown and sticky? shit

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What's black and can't climb trees? A parking lot

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Hehe and Haha are best friends. One day, Haha died. What did Hehe do? He said "Haha! you died!"

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Why did the bus driver have a bad day? Someone threw a washing machine filled with radios but containing no soap at his bus. Then, a kid stapled a frog to his face. His wife died of terminal cancer.

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I wonder if God looks at the Earth all these years later and thinks, Man, I really went overboard with the water, didn't I?

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A boy orders a sandwich at a restaurant. He then questions the cashier about it. Boy: Excuse me, Why is my sandwich so bad? Cashier: Sorry, none of our women cooks were in today.

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Q: What's your favorite song? A: Not one in particular. I like all kinds of music.

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What is black and red? Something that is black and red.

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Luke Hardie is G@Y

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Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

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a woman came back from a long vacation, one of her male employes noticed that her breast were much larger, "wow, did you get a boob job?" he asked. she replied "no i have breast cancer"

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A guy walks into a bar, and then is hit with the full force of all the things he never did in life, of how he wasted his younger years chasing a bigger paycheck rather than trying to live life, and all the love he wasted on people who didn't care about him. He begins to cry as his first drink arrives, and orders many more as the night passes. He loses his keys as he leaves and stumbles home in a drunken stupor, contemplating suicide.

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why did mary fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? Cause she had no friends. Knock knock whos there Definately not mary !

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What rhymes with shuck and starts with an f flamethrower

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Q - What is worse than a nerdy joke on anti-jokes with a lot of big words in it? A - Although I get scared when i see big words, the page long jokes are probably worse

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Why did the african man wear no clothes? Because he liked being naked.

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Want to hear the funniest joke in the world? I forget how it goes but it ends with the abolishment of slavery.

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fallow me on twitter #ieatveloceraptorsfordinner

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refridgrator

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The president, Oprah and Abraham Lincoln are sitting in a crashing airplane. lol

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A cat walks into a bar. What's the first thing it says? Absolutely nothing. It was knocked out.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

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Why was the Mexican smart? Because he was very well educated and went to college, and got a Ph.D

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Why did the fortune cookie taste bad? I forgot to take the wrapper off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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