Why did the fish swim away from the boat when the fishermen put him back in the water? Because he obviously wasn't gonna get back in the boat.

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Meow.

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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i was driving home after work but i had to stop because an old lady wanted to cross the road..... the old lady was abused by her father as a child, and had Alzheimer's

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Doctor, I am afraid of getting sexually abused. Hmm, sounds serious, take off all your clothes so we can get a proper look.

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a man got hit by a truck in brooklyn, JK he got shot, he was in brooklyn, Duh, he stumbled out in to traffic afterwards

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What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

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a man walks into a bar. ouch.

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What's the difference between Jew and a bread? Bread does not scream when you put him in oven.

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dick in your mouth just kidding haaaaaa

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Whats the most common use of a butt plug after school? In the sport of pole vaultIng, the butt plug is the rubber end of the pole that is designed to withstand the force of being planted in a steel box.

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What is the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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Whats green and has wheels? A Rednecks front lawn.

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Why did Billy cross the road? Because Billy wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

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What did the black man do with the white mans stolen bike? He returned it after finding it outside a local shopping mall.

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A black guy walks into a bar. He falls unconscious and an ambulance is quickly called to bring him to the hospital.

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you

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Why is Steve Jobs dead, but Bill Gates isn't? Because Bill Gates wasn't diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer.

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What's worrying about a middle-eastern man on a plane? The fact you are worrying about it.

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How many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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What kind of nun would never drink milk? One who suffers from a severe lactose intolerance.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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