Your mom is so fat, she suffers from heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a bat and the others a watermelon

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fack me in the ace! CC

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Once upon a time, I was a Muslim.

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How do you make a sandwich? You don't, you have a girl do it for you.

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Shoulda had a V8 ...or not because I am severely allergic to tomato's.

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knock knock piss off

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Doctor, Doctor, I feel like there's two of me! There's not. Your long lost twin died of terminal cancer.

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What do you call ugly? Dionne Dodds

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What does the young boy say to the gay man Hello Jacob, because he was raised to respect and treat gays equally

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What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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how come the jews were not laughing? because they were in a concentration camp

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Your mom is soooo fat..... She'll most likely suffer a heart attack

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Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

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Where's my baby??

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What would you do for a klondike bar? I'm allergic to milk.

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Why did the plane crash and everybody die on board? The plane crashed because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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i am iron man running over fat kids in my van

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What is the best kind of necro? Dead necro.

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Why did the monkey fall out the tree, He was dead

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How are JFK and Jimmy Neutron similar? They both had brain blasts.

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full house

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because on top of his depression, his wife had been cheating on him and his kids all died in a horrible hand-gliding mishap.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint the side of a building? I don't know, it depends on how hard you throw them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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