Q: Why did Little Suzie fall off of the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Little Suzie!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

There are 3 poeple on an air plane. The pope, a boy scout, and barak obama. The plane is about to crash and there is only 2 parachutes. omba said im the president of the united states and one of the worlds smartest african americans so he jumped out. The Pope told the boy scout " i lived a long happy life you take the last parachute and jump." The boy scout replied what there are still 2 left the " worlds smartest negro jumped out with my backpack.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

hihihihihihihihihihiihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihihjhihhhihhihihihihihihiihihihihihihihihihihihihiihihiihihihihihihihihihihiihihihihiihihihi

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What do you call two black men in bed? Twix

thumb_up thumb_down +32

homework

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

what do you call a black man drinking cool-aid? thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man goes into a bar. What are mangos doing in a bar?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

colby doesnt shave

thumb_up thumb_down +30

"We all miss somebody a lot every now and then, its only human! But never give up, just keep reloading and firing until you hit that somebody!" Moral: Moral, answer me, MORAL MOOOOORAAAAAAAAL! DUN DU DURUN, DUN DUN DUN! *gunshot* (The moral section just because I love them red thumbs ^^)

thumb_up thumb_down +30

you know whats not funny? the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A blonde enters a bar and orders an elevator.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Black People

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Your momma's so fat she died five years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Yo mama is so fat that she has to buy plus size clothes because small size clothes would be inappropriate for her to wear.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? Because they often have to interact with violent and distrustful criminals.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Kathy Griffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Question: What did Mr. Reeves say. Answer: Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Is there any non dirty numbers these days, 69, just kidding

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Blonds are cute and so are u.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Person 1 - Have you heard about the movie about constipation? Person 2 - No. Person 1 - It hasn't come out yet

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops