An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones... and my pistol will kill you.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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Penis.

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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Why did Billy drop his ice-cream? He got stabbed multiple times

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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Hey guess what! We're birthday buddies! May 3rd.. Yeah that's why you should give me 5 bucks.

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There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

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The skeleton walks into a bar. Everyone is confused and leaves.

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JOHN to MARY: Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet So are you MARY to JOHN: Roses are red Violets are blue Who are you? JOHN to MARY: Roses are red I'm your husband MARY to JOHN: No! JOHN to MARY: WHAT??? MARY to JOHN: Ex Awkward silence. Mary moves out the next day.

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The cat climbed a tree. It didn't want to come down, so it starved to death.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's

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Dylan Hodge fingered himself. Hah.

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What did the blind orphan get for christmas? Cancer

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Knock Knock Who's there? F F who? F you.

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Q:whats comes back to life and says RAR A;jesus

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What'f funny and has 8 wheels? The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels

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what do you call a grown man who sticks food up his nose? retarded

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whats the difference of the mexican and the bench the mexicans alive

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why did the Chinese man fail the driving test because he had no previous driving experience and wasn't prepared for the test

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because the walk sign said to

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What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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