Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

What's the difference between a woman and a car? A woman is merely a useful object, whereas a car deserves love, care, and respect.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

What's a ghost's favourite country? Fraaaaance.

Yo mama's so fat that she should probably go on a diet to avoid the risk of getting a cardiovascular disese.

if bob has 400 pieces of chocolate and eats 200 chocolates how many does he have left. none he died from diabetes

Why did the blonde walk into the wall? I lied it was nathaniel nugnes

What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

How do you make someone think your wierd? Pretend to be a panda.

- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

Billy and Suzy sitting in a tree... Billy is gay.

Once upon a time, The end.

A man walks up to a horse and asks, "why the long face?" The horse stares back at him, blankly. The man then sits and ponders his life, sad that he now tries to communicate with horses and realizes that his eccentricity is probably the reason his marriage failed.

Why did the boat salesman cry? Because a puppet killed his family.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

Kevin was very nervous going into his job interview. So he pretended he was a salad and ate himself.

Got tired of McDonalds Jim?

Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second muffin and says "OH MY GOD I CAN TALK!" the second muffin is so shaken in its beliefe system by a talking muffin that it commits suicide.

Two english guys meet at work

Why did the little boy get food poisoning? Because his family can't afford to buy organic food, and can only afford McDonald's burgers, where their cows are forced to stand in their own feces.

How do you fit 4 homosexuals onto a barstool? You make the barstool wider allowing for all the men to sit more comfortably on top of the stool.

Did you hear the one about the man who fell asleep on the job? He woke up.

What happends to a monkey without arms.. He bleeds..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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