knock knock , who there ray, ray who , ray winstone , I am your daddy you'll get your perks.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm random but can still rhyme Hatsune Miku

thumb_up thumb_down +10

varför skriver jag på svenska jag vet inte

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Erica is so sexy i want to hump her

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is worse than reading an anti-joke relatively similar to the other? Walking in your front yard and realizing a zombie is eating your dead grandmother.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo mamas so fat.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mother is so bad at cooking that people often remark on how bad at cooking she is.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a load of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the dog cross the road? He saw a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't the Canadian taste the maple syrup? Because someone cut off his tongue. -BLLJ

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happens when you throw a green stone into the red sea? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a man is bussy at work, when he gets called by his doctor. YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A BABY! the doctor yells. so the man runs to his car, drives home like a madman, and arrives home with his doctor holding the newborn in his arms. "congratulations" the doctor says "it's a boy" the man takes the baby in his arms and says: "but, this child is black!" his wife cheated on him and the familly breaks appart

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you stop a black kid from bouncing on the bed? Put Velcro on the cealing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between your cat and mine? Yours has legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

In Soviet Russia it is normally colder than america and most people speak russian.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than a little kid falling. Him getting vigorously raped by his father every night.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the fat guy survive the plain crash He didn't he died like everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

"Knock, Knock," a man called out. A child threw open the door and peered out at him. "Why didn't you just knock instead of saying 'knock knock'?" Flustered, the man couldn't come up with an answer, and the child promptly closed the door, locked it, and returned to her previous activities.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops