Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

thumb_up thumb_down

KNOCK KNOCK! Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! Umm... Who's there? KNOCK KNOCK! OMG I SWEAR TO GOD WHO THE HECK IS THERE?!?!? KNOCK KNOCK! *opens door* Oh.... It was a woodpecker...

thumb_up thumb_down

There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

thumb_up thumb_down

How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

thumb_up thumb_down

A blonde walks into a bar. She just graduated university and thought she would celebrate with a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it most likely saw a shiny object and wanted to play with it. Luckily there was no cars passing at the time but the parents should be more careful to keep thier child in sight and away from peril. That and the baby found a small piece of glass that could be harmful to it....

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

thumb_up thumb_down

When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

thumb_up thumb_down

Andy Carrol

thumb_up thumb_down

whats worse than getting no gifts for christmas? getting hit by a bus for christmas

thumb_up thumb_down

Why are children like books? They are highly flammable if covered in gasoline.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the boy say to the ghost wearing a banana outfit? Holy crap! A ghost!

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the homeless man begging for money? Because he needed money to buy liquer for his severe alcohol addiction that was slowly destroying his liver.

thumb_up thumb_down

A little girl had a sleepover with her friends. They watched a movie, then went to bed at a reasonable time. /

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

thumb_up thumb_down

my great great grandpa ryan the rattlesnake had a cat named dog-

thumb_up thumb_down

Who are you texting? YOUR MOTHER.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the man called Big Larry? His name was Larry and he was morbidly obese.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the black man almost go to jail? He rolled a 6 in monopoly, if it was a 7, he would've been sent straight to jail without passing "go"

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do guys love to wrestle? They like to have physical contact with other men.

thumb_up thumb_down

Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse, a dog dying or cancer? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops