Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

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How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

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I swear to god it wasn't me! Dont swear to god its a sin !

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it doesn't matter because he got hit by a bus before he could even make it.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because while he was swinging, his friends dared him to jump off and called him a chicken when he didn't. Still hesitant, he tried to jump off, but his arm caught on the swing chain and he fell face first into the tanbark. He needs reconstructive surgery to repair his face.

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whats wors than getting hit by a car? getting raped by a giant scorpian

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What did Helen Keller say after the Iron Maiden show? Nothing, she is a mute.

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What's black and blue and lives in a kitchen? A 1940's housewife.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's

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how do 2 gay guys walk... one pounces into the others butt

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What's worse then finding a finger in your Chili? Getting Mollested by a Pterodactyl.

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Q: what did a kid in harlem get for christmas? A: nothing he got shot

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You know what's really funny? Cancer What's funnier than that? The Holocaust Even funnier? Charlie Sheen

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What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

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A man knocks on a wooden door. A woman says who is it?

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A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervour father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happyness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

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What is the difference between a dead baby in a blender and a rock? There are many differences. One of them is the fact that I don't masturbate to a rock.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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why did the plane crash? because fenton was driving it..."THE DEER HAD TO DIE"

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Meow.

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Q:Whats worse than a worm in apple? A:The Holocaust. Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: Were both lawyers! :D Q: What happens when you throw a purple rock in to a green river? A: It splashes

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The cat climbed a tree. It didn't want to come down, so it starved to death.

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Whats Black and blue My wife after i beat her ass.

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What's the same about a crouton and a pencil case? Both are used for dirty things, such as shoe tying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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