A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

why did the jew cross the road? the ss was chasing him and his family to kill him so he ran across the street to same his family, he got hit by a truck and his family was killed...

there are some things i dont get. Quantum Physics is one of them.

how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

What did the pornstar do after the film shoot? Called her parents and said she had a good day at work as a receptionist at a law firm. She is too ashamed to admit her real profession to them. She then cried profusely.

4 on three... 1, 2, 3, 4!

Roses are red, Violets aren't blue, They're fucking violet, And I hate you.

I just can't stand sitting down!

What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to end the lives of two male individuals and paralyze the the third male individual from the hip down.

Yoshy is gay and likes men. From Jarod ????

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in an oven.

Why did the woman lie down? She was dead

Q: Why can't Helen Keller have a baby? A: Because she is dead. ...I IS HORNY!

Who was sorry when the fat kid fell over last year? The whole of Japan.

What's green and invisible? This cabbage.

Hey, guess what? What? Dammit!

You're smart... And I can tell a joke.

roses are red, violets are blue.

What did the cow say right before he was slaughtered and later to be sold? Nothing cows dont talk they can create a sound that most people describe as MOO though.

What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

Q. What does a blonde and beer bottles have in common? A. Nothing. Blonde is a hair color and beer bottles are inanimate objects used to contain various brands of beer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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