What's sad about an old black woman being hit by a Porsche? She was my third grade English teacher, and had a huge impact upon my life.

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What do you call a man with a towel on his head? A good target.

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Why was the man called Big Larry? His name was Larry and he was morbidly obese.

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How do you fit 3 squirtles two bulbasors and a charmander in a smart car You poke em on

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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A man walks into a zoo. There is only one animal, a dog. It's a shitzu.

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I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he had a frog stapled to his face. Why did the boy cry harder? Because it queefed in the boys mouth.

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what do you call a attractive blond haired girl who sings songs. pixie lott

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it.

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What's a Mexicans favourite video game? It depends on his/her personal preferences.

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On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me nothing because I'm single

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What is funnier than onion gravy? Mushroom gravy.

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what do you call a gay guy in a sleeping bag? a fruit roll-up. GET IT? because gay guys like fruit roll-ups.

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Roses are red Violets are orange Thats odd, my violets are somehow orange

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Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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So there are two skunks in a bath tub. One of the skunks says to the other, "Would you please pass the soap?", and the other skunk says, "What do you think I am, a talking radio?!"

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Well babies don't have the strength or coordination to hold a paint brush, so you may need to call some painters.

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How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

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how do you scare a mexican? You dress up as a bar of soap.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops