- Anti Joke

Whats worse than a rotten tomato. a fridge hitting your baby.

What's big and red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater!

Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

When I walk in the rain, I get wet

How do you make bread out of corpses? You don't. You grow it with bread seeds.

What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

What did the pornstar do after the film shoot? Called her parents and said she had a good day at work as a receptionist at a law firm. She is too ashamed to admit her real profession to them. She then cried profusely.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a homicidal maniac, six has every right to be afraid

what did reed read? the most recent anti-joke

A blind was staring at a girls ass. Her boyfriend promptly bludgeoned the man unaware of his illness.

What was the pirate movie rated? Pg-13

Want to hear the best joke? Your life :,( i think i hate you?

Three women are sent to heaven. Theres a blond , brunette , and a redhead. There are 100 steps to heaven and on every step god tells you a joke and you cant laugh. The redhead makes it to step 23 then laughs. The brunette makes it to step 67 then laughs. Finally the blond make it all the way to the 100th step and before god can tell the joke she laughs. God asks why are u laughing? And the blond says " i just got the 1st one"!

roses are red violets are blue ur mom just died and u will 2

Once there was a rich man who lived in a castle on a hill. One fine morning who awoke and decided to go downstairs to make a cup of tea. As he switched on the kettle, he realised he had no tea bags, and so, went to the local shops to buy some – but when he arrived back, his magnificent castle had been burnt down to the ground. The man, obviously shocked, looked around in hope for some evidence as to who would commit this awful crime, but he saw nothing, apart from a little green man running off into the distance. The man calls insurance and they give him a mansion. One morning in the man’s fine mansion, he decided he wanted a nice cup of tea, so went downstairs, discovered he had no teabags, went to the shop to purchase some and came back to find his mansion was no more than a pile of ash. Once again he looked around and saw nothing other than a little green man running off into the distance. The man calls insurance for a second time and they give him a normal house. One morning in the man’s normal house, he feels the need for a cup of tea. But has no teabags, he goes to the shop to get some and comes back to find his normal house has burnt down. In the distance a little green man is running away. Insurance give the man a small cottage. And one morning in this small cottage, the man goes downstairs to make a cup of tea, but once again he has no teabags. Off to the shops he went to buy some but discovered, as he approached his cottage on the way home, that it had been burnt down. He looked around to see the now familiar sight of a little green man running off into the distance. Insurance give him a caravan. One morning in the caravan, the man discovers, while attempting to make a cup of tea, that he has no teabags. So, naively, he goes to the shop to get some and comes back to his caravan to find it burnt down. He looked up and saw a little green man running off into the distance. The now annoyed insurance company give the man a tent. One sunny morning in the man’s tent - he feels the need for tea, but has no teabags; he goes to the shop to buy some and arrives back at his tent to find a little green man holding a can of gasoline and some matches. The man asks: “are you the one who has been burning down all my houses?” And the little green man replies: “No.”

Why was the boy sad? He had just had his legs amputated and will never walk again.

Pick up Lines skeet skeet skeet! JLR

Why did the dog eat poop?

Hey, guess what? What? Dammit!

What do you call Michael? A homosexual person who is nice, however he is still gay.

What is the best invention ever? Taking a crap reverse. So you can enjoy a nice bowl of aids.

What did the farmer say when he lost his cow? Where's my wife?

What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

What do you look for in a woman? a pulse.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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