What time is it? 10:58

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? 3.

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Why did Lucy have blond hair? Answer: Because both her parents had recessive traits.

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Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

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What do 9 out of 10 people like? Gang rape.

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Why did the school bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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Why are children like books? They are highly flammable if covered in gasoline.

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What kind of bread makes pickles? Dill Dough

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What's sad about an old black woman being hit by a Porsche? She was my third grade English teacher, and had a huge impact upon my life.

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What do you call a man with a towel on his head? A good target.

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A rapist is asked to teach a kindergarden class. The kids learn many things and have a great day.

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Do you want to know a funny joke Answer- Kieran Reynolds HAHAHAHAHA This is not Daniel Lesiak

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A boy says he is going to commit suicide. To stop him, a friend tells him not to do it, he'll regret it later in life.

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Your mama's so fat.

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How do giant spiders like to spend their weekends? Eating Orphans.

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WHY DID THE CHICKEN FART SO LOAD TO GET EVRYYBODY ATENTION

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your momma's so fat i almost didn't have sex with her.... almost.

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crap!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

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Guess what my grandma told me yesterday.. Nothing she's dead.

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What is the most dangerous day of the week to leave the house? Garbage day. Moral: Or rather GAAAAAAAAAARBAAAAAGE DAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *BANG BANG BANG* >:D

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Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

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what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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