A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

Why shouldn't you play poker in the woods? Due to the stereotypical lack of human population in such an area, it would be excruciatingly difficult to find a partner with which to play competitive card games. I suggest trying solitaire instead.

Why does one not simply walk into Mordor? Mordor doesn't really exist and thus is physically impossible to walk into, or enter by any means really.

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

Your mumma is so fat she was mistaken for an opera singer in a quite awkward confrontation. she was embarrassed and walked out crying

Why do you put a baby in a blender face up? To see the expression on its face

Knock knock Who's There..... Guess who's coming Who's coming Me inside you !

So a mama tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato were all walking down the street. The baby tomato was falling behind its parents. So the daddy tomato goes back, squishes the baby tomato and yells ketchup!

Where do you live? In a house

Wanna see some more?

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

What do you call a man with a black book? I don't know.

Why did the frog cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, as I wasn't there, and frankly I wonder why a chicken was anywhere near a road anyway

Luck is not real. But the dismembered body in my basement is.

What do you call a black man on the moon? An Afronaut

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

Near the tower of London, a woman says to her friend: "You know, I had a feeling my son would come out, and the other day, he did." "What was your first clue?" "We're British."

How many kids with A.D.D. does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride?

Why can't a blonde woman drive? because she was shot in both legs and cannot operate the pedals without extreme pain.

What do you call a dog with 4 legs? A dog.

Penisland

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everyone. - Blake Woodman

A man with short term memory loss loses his memory every day. His last memory before his accident is the day he escaped this hostpital and murdered a family of five. He continues to do this every day and he is known in Mexico as cincochico.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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