How do you finish your homework? Get your dog to eat it.

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....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

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planned on writing you all an antijoke decided i wouldn't.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light-bulb? Probably one. Replacing a light-bulb is a pretty simple task which any person (regardless of ethnicity) should be able to do without assistance.

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Q: Why did the bird fall out of the tree? A: It died. Q: Why did the snake fall out of the tree? A: It was stapled to the bird. Q:Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Peer pressure.

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Violets are red. Roses are blue. I am drunk, and i'm about to spew.

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An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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Two bananas are walking down the street. One says, "Nice weather we're having, isn't it?" The other banana says, "Wait a minute, fruit can't talk." The second banana turns into a dove and promptly flies away.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says: both your legs are broken in 10 places, you will never walk again.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

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What's the difference between basketball and an elephant? One's a sport and one's a large African animal.

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"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

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What stands on the corner oof every major city at night? A cop

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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What do you call a Mexican on a boat? A sailor

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3 guys walk into a bar. The fourth guy ducks.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Does it matter why, it just did.

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what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

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Why couldn't Sarah see through her telescope? She was blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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