A man walks into a bar stark naked with a duck on his head. The bartender said "Dave, what's wrong?" The duck replies "Don't ask."

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raisin boogers

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knock knock who's there? John Oh, come in then

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How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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Why are children like books? They are highly flammable if covered in gasoline.

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What was the last thing going through the man's mind who cleans the 90th floor windows on the World Trade Center on 9/11? The 91st floor.

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i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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Roses are red violets are blue you have cancer......

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Why do guys love to wrestle? They like to have physical contact with other men.

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a hobo begs and begs for a dollar to buy something. a man finally gives him a dollar. what does the hobo buy? nothing. he walked into 711 and got shot.

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whats funny? a relatsion ship for 16 hours

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Man: Are you tired Woman: No why? Man: You have bags under your eyes and you just yawned a minute ago

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Andy Carrol

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what has 4 legs but can't walk? a paralyzed dog

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65% of people are starving 32% are over 190 lbs. Think about it

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whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bucket of poop. The Mexican is a human the bucket of poop is an object filled bodily wastes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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INSULT- You've got a photographic memory, but the lens cap is on. INSULT- Whatever anyone says to you goes in one ear and out the other because nothing is blocking traffic INSULT- I heard you were born, your father threw rocks at the stork. From- Insults and Putdowns lite

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How do you make a ninja fly a plane? You put a gun to his head and say fly this plane.

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what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

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I had sex with my mother in law

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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