Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll order The Special, what's wrong with you?

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Roses are Red Violets are plucked So are my nose-hairs Pretty disgusting

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How do u bring a dead person to life? U dont.

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Theres a man with 2 eyes.

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What's the difference between a jazz musician and a cheese pizza? A cheese pizza is a food and a jazz musician is a person.

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Your so ugly that your birth certeficate is a apology letter from the condum factory

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

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Who did the Vampire bite? No one because vampires aren't real.

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why did the girl break up with her boyfriend? hes gay

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Why didnt the man eat the free cachew nuts? Because he did'nt want to die from an allergic reaction.

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Your momma went to the gym, because she is fat.

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What is the mexican dream? To jump the border

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why was the mom crying? Her son was found in the oven.

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There was a baby, and it wouldnt stop crying. So the mom shook it and shook it. Then it stopped crying.

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What's made of wood and has an eraser? a 2x4 i lied about the eraser.

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a guy walked into my house and asked "why do you do the beep test every arvo?" i suddenly replied, im matt minors i get chicks

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Q. What do you call a guy who only drinks lite beer. A. His name.

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I hate all races.. Especially the 400 meter sprint

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mc hammers income.

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I STUCK MY TESTICLE IN A BLENDER!!!

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how do you make a cat blink? strike him with a hammer.

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What was so special about Anne Frank's diary? Nothing. ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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Why couldn't the asian man drive? He had no arms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops