Why did the burglar get arrested? For beating an egg

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Why did the boy cry? Because he had a frog stapled to his face. Why did the boy cry harder? Because it queefed in the boys mouth.

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Joe: Hey, why are your counters all red and your blender looks broken? Me: The same reason why Mrs. Johnson's baby is missing. ajl

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What does Pontiac stand for? Nothing. Pontiac's were discontinued

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Strawberries!

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What does a camel wear at war? Camelflage

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what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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My aunt said slow and steady wins the race....... She died in a fire

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Q.What do you call a black man flying a plane? A. A black pilot you racist bastard

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Why can't Jimmy talk? He's dead.

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

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Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?? Theres one less drunk.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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"I like my women like I like my coffee, in a cup." -Paul Alangadan

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What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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What does a Jewish Santa Clause say? This scenario is highly improbable as Jews celebrate Hanukkah and not Christmas.

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What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

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What dud the baseball player do when he struck out? Walked back to the bench

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely ask him to come down

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Your momma is so fat that when she fell over, she couldn't get back up without help, and she probably got several bruises.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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