Gun Control

thumb_up thumb_down +6

four little monkeys jumping on the bed... one fell of and bumped his head... mama called the doctor and the doctor said... im calling child protection services.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Bob goes swimming in the ocean. Due to the fact that his father sexually abused him as a child, and never taught him how to swim, he drowns.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Ever had sex while camping? It's great.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

where do you find sunglasses at? the store

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&Ms factory? Because she slapped the boss when he made a pass at her. Afterwhich she reported the incident to her Union and the boss was fired for Sexual Harassment. She was then rehired with a substantial increase in salary.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

;aosughdfo

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't the Black man become a surgeon? He was Blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

So two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Hillary Clinton

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than waking up with cancer? Waking up dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What is more dangerous than heroine? T.J. Lane

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What would make a black guy sad? His mom dying on death bed...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hey I just met? you and this is crazy I have alzheimers Hey I just met you

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Do you ride the bus to school or do you take your lunch?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red Here is something new Violets are violet NOT FUCKING BLUE

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Show me the money! Said the man last wednesday.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops