Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

why was the pen lonely? because it didn't have a pen pall

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call an Irish man with no legs? Handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when the elephants were coming? Here come the elephants! What did Jane say when the elephants were coming? Here come the plums! (She was color blind.)

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did Little Timmy fall off of his bike? Because he was hit by 3 monkeys and a refrigerator. Knock knock Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The women if the wnba are good at basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats worse than a clock with no hands? Your mom with cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's the difference between your cat and mine? Yours has legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What happens when you throw a green stone into the red sea? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you get a firetruck to swerve uncontrollably? Shoot the driver with a 12 gauge.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is funnier then 25 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's black and blue and hates anal? The twelve year old in my trunk

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is black, often hung by a rope on a tree, and something white people like to play with? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did Charlotte fall off the swing? She got hit in the face with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I hate it when people talk about concentration camps... my grandad died in one He fell off the guard tower

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the gecko cross the road.... Because he saw great deals on car insurance!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Kumquats, daffodils, and potato salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Can you say the word "toy boat" 10 times fast? No

thumb_up thumb_down +7

When I get aroused I get a solid snake

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the mentally challenged man enter the bar? He's tired of being subject hate and criticism. He hates being the subject of jokes and being pointed at. He may not be able to tell you what 3x6 is, but he still has feelings. So because of all these inconsiderate people judging him, he now spends his days at the local bar, drowning his sorrows away in alcohol. I hope your happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Hey I just met you, and this is Crazy, but I think I Love You, so have my baby! ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo momma's so fat that all the children within a close proximity of your home think that your mother is a very large woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops