She said no

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What do you call 5 of my friends and 5 of your friends hanging out together? I don't know. I don't have any friends.

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whats black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white? a penguin rolling down the hill. what black and white and laughing? the penguin that pushed him.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is blind and death, making her oblivious of her surroundings and would be a danger to fellow commuters. -mac

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What time is it? 20:45.

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a jewish man walks down the street a hispanic man walks down the street a black man walks down the street an irish man walks down the street and into a pub

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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John Rustenburg at the dinner table

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Why are black people ghetto? Because they are black.

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Dear crush, I want to drink you

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An irishman walks into a bar and orders a beer.

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knock knock who is there? Jehovah's Witness... IT IS the desire of Jehovah's Witnesses that you become better acquainted with them. You may have met them as neighbors and fellow employees or in other daily affairs of life. You may have seen them on the street, offering their magazines to passersby. Or you may have spoken briefly with them at your door. Actually, Jehovah's Witnesses are interested in you and your welfare. They want to be your friends and to tell you more about themselves, their beliefs, their organization, and how they feel about people and the world in which all of us live. To accomplish this, they have prepared this brochure for you. In most ways Jehovah's Witnesses are like everyone else. They have normal problems—economic, physical, emotional. They make mistakes at times, for they are not perfect, inspired, or infallible. But they try to learn from their experiences and diligently study the Bible to make needed corrections. They have made a dedication to God to do his will, and they apply themselves to fulfill this dedication. In all their activities they seek guidance from God's Word and his holy spirit.

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How do you escape prison? Kill everyone in it hen once you have escaped find their families and viciously murder them. Are they going the send you back to prison? No because you will kill everyone.

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A women in her kitchen hears a thud outside. Her husband fell off the roof.

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Suzie was in a traumatizing accident resulting in her arms getting cut off. Knock Knock? Whos There? Not Suzie.

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What did hitler say to the bartender? Nothing he's dead.

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You know what is really annoying? An annoying baby that wont stop crying while you are trying to do very important work.

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one day four teenage boys started doing drugs. They jumped off a cliff and died.

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whats worse than finding the holocaust on your forehead? a mono brow

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Whats similar between a grape and a duck? They're both purple. except not the duck.

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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Q: What did the whale say to the other whale? A: MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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if you give somebody a dollar and they give you a different dollar you both have a dollar

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I was visiting my grandad the other day and my phone died, I was really bored, he told me I rely too much on technology I replied with 'no you do' and Unplugged his life support

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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