What is worse than finding an Apple in your Worm? Watching your dog jumping of a cliff

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck at poetry, show me your tits!

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Why did the elephants get in a taxi? They were going to the airport.

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There's a car about to hit me.

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Give a man a fish, feed him for a week. Teach a man to fish, he'll starve to death. Provide this man a fishing rod, and now finally you're doing something helpful.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is blue too

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What's blue and says "Good morning" A blue sign that says good morning

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What do you call a fish that isn't moving? Dead.

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Why does mexico not have an Olympic team? They do

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How many WOMEN does it take to change a light bulb? YOU ALREADY KNOW ITS GONNA BE MORE THAN ONE!

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http://anti-joke.com/anti-joke/popular/a-paper-cut-is-a-trees-last-revenge

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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yolo mother f-uckaaaa

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What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

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fack me in the ace! CC

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Yo mama's so poor, she can no longer handle the down payments on her home and is in great need of financial aid

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fuzzy wuzzy was a bear fuzzy wuzzy had no hair so fuzzy wuzzy wasn't fuzzy was he? yes

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Why does 1 + 1 = 2? ....seriously P

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What do you call a hard working black man? A hard working black man.

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How did the fat woman survive the car accident? She had on her seat belt.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i'd put my penis in your mouth

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Why was the ghost boy sad? He was attending his own funeral.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

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No, we got to speak now, or you know, never.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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