What's the difference between a duck?

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why was the black man hand cuffed by a woman cop? Because they are a married couple who feel like role play will help spark their sex life again.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What do you call a comedian who can;t make people laugh? A bad comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What is green and has weels? A green bycicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb and the doctor was surprised

thumb_up thumb_down +45

yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

"What time is it?" "Time to buy a watch." The homeless man inquiring about the time proceeded to cry.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

How do you make friends with a squrriel? Trust me, don't.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What happened when the man stuck his hand in the blender? Nothing, it was turned off.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

why did the chicken cross the road? Does it matter why, it just did.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Roses are red, Sometimes they're white. Or pink. Or yellow. There are roses of many colors.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

what do you call a man with no legs? disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Usually, the bad (anti) jokes are the ones that don't make you laugh. Sometimes you laugh "with" the joke, other times, you laugh at the joke itself because it is a paragon for human failure. The jokes on this website are not exempt from that rigid stipulation. However, it should be noted that all the "jokes" on this particular website are actually hilarious because of the latter reason delineated in the above paragraph. Additionally, this joke was created by a machine and thus the originator of this work is by no means able to learn from the process of trial and error and therfore can make myriad unfunny jokes without compromise.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A man has only two fingers on one hand, and everybody calls him two-fingered Mike. Why? Because his fingers were lost in a tragic accident at birth, and his parents, who were considering calling him Mike, decided to lengthen the name because it seemed appropriate.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

i don't get it...none of these are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What has two wheels and a handle bar? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

An Iraqi, an American and an Irishman get on a plane. They all enjoy the in-flight amenities, agree that the food was sub-standard and arrive at their destinations safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why was the man sweating? He was stuck in a burning house.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops