Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? There was a huge pile of dead babies blocking his path.

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock. whos there? not suzy.

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Whats the difference between black and white. Nothing they're both colors.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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A girl that had Malaria couldn't play with her friends, whys this? She died.

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So a duck walks into a drugstore and asks the clerk for lip balm. The clerk asks, "How will you be paying for that?" to which the duck replies, "Cash."

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Why was the man sad His son got raped

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What's the difference between Michael J. Fox and a blender? Michael J. Fox is a successful actor starring in many movies, and a blender is a kitchen appliance.

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What's for dinner? Flesh from when your brother was alive and your blood.

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Why was the boy in hospital? He fell off the bus and was run over by many cars.

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What do you call a black man at harvard? Probably a criminal who is in harvard law trying to find a good lawyer.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am a dog

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One day, 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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What did the Chinaman say to the other Chinaman? I dont know, he was speaking in Chinese.

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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What's blue and can't sing? Blue.

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A black man walks in to a bar and says ouch! A jewish man walks in to a bar and later sews that same bar for he and the black mans injurys.

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Why did the Quantum chicken cross the road? It was already on both sides.

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What would George washington do if he was still alive He isn't so we dont have to worry about that.

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whats brown and sticky? a four week dead uunborn african child...

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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what should you say when your mates nan is in hospital with a broken leg??? ha ha my nan can stand up shes just genetically better

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops