a dinosaur with a large clown hat is walking down the street when he is confronted by an obese monkey human with red hair. I set this up for a good pun, but the one i have is potatoes.

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four little monkeys jumping on the bed... one fell of and bumped his head... mama called the doctor and the doctor said... im calling child protection services.

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Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

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Knock Knock Who's There? The Police The Police Who? Uhm, Ma'am your son just died in a car wreck

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Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

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Got tired of McDonalds Jim?

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If dropped from the same height, which hits the ground first an apple or a baby? the apple because the baby has a rope tied around its neck

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What did the chicken say to the dog? Well, since chickens can't talk, they both stood there in an awkward silence.

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If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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Have you ever seen Ethiopian food? No, neither have Ethiopians.

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Why was the boy sitting alone? Because all his friends died.

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An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scottsman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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a man walks into a bar, he is injured severely and needs medical attention stat, he is rushed to the hospital where he dies that evening

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why did suzy drop her ice cream? she got hit by a bus. knock knock! who's there? not suzy.

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Ask me if I'm a kangaroo Are you a Kangaroo? No….

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What's the difference between a mole and dynamite? - Moles don't explode... unless you fill them with dynamite.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Your moms face is turning purple. I'm coming for you.

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Chrissy is funny.

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whats wors than getting hit by a car? getting raped by a giant scorpian

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WHAT'S LESS THAN 0? FIONN'S DIGNITY AFTER HENRY'S

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If you are riding on a broomstick and it breaks in the middle of the ocean... How many pieces of toast does it take to fill a light house? Purple, because Oranges cannot fly.

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Mail | Print | Vote | Daft Punk Superheroes Lyrics Send "Superheroes" Ringtone to your Cell Songwriters: BANGALTER, THOMAS / CHRISTO, GUY MANUEL HOMEM / MANILOW, BARRY / PANZER, MARTIN Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air Something In The Air

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know I'm not a mind reader.

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops