What did Michael Jackson get for Christmas? Nothing he's dead

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? usually one new yorker.

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How do u bring a dead person to life? U dont.

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Why did the cat land on it's back.... because its dead .......

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because her dad through a fridge at her

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A man comes to a fork in the road. He then looks around then proceeds to pick it up, puts it in his pocket, then continues walking down the road as if nothing had happened.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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A handicapp walks into a bar

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Welcome to die!

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Halts Maul Reid. Das ist, was ich rede.

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What was so special about Anne Frank's diary? Nothing. ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Short Answer: You can't.

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What did the stuffed animal say to the human after the human said hi? Nothing, after all stuffed animals can't talk

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Q:what do you call a black man in a wheel chair? A: a war veteran who accidentally stepped on a land mine while trying to protect his country.

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What's more addicting than a good book? Meth

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what's difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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Why did the man run? Because he was trying to get a gold medal for the 200m at the Olympics.

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What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

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What do an elephant and grapes have in common? They both have a trunk...except for the grapes

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Whats red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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What did the kind hearted wolf do when he saw the small, helpless, fluffy bunny? He ate it.

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A man walks into a bar. Dyslexia is not funny. -Tag

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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