A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Why did the penguin die? due to an increase in the quantity of greenhouse gases that are being released into the atmosphere, global warming is on the rise. So the penguin died because his home melted.

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What do you call a duck In Africa ? Screwed

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Why was the black man escorted from the bar? Because the bartender was racist.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

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How do u make Michael Jackson cry Dead people can't cry you dumb bitch

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What was so special about Anne Frank's diary? Nothing. ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What do you call a loser on a game? A Dirty Hacker

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Why did the chicken cross the street? To get to your house. Knock Knock Who is there. The chicken.

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People could crack eggs but Chuck Norris could crack chickens.

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What do you call you're mum? Depends who's reading it or just mum

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they say that if you commit suicide, you have done nothing wrong. does that mean hitler did nothing wrong?

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i shouldnt be on this cause im in class

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It wa Jerry's first day of kindergarten He pulled out a .44 magnum and shot himself under the chin where he was instantly dead... Yes, dead

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wanna here an anti joke scroll down

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Knock knock. Who's there? Knock. Knock who? Knock knock.

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I ponder

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What do you call 5 of my friends and 5 of your friends hanging out together? I don't know. I don't have any friends.

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ring ring young man: dad? mom's dead? woman: i think you dialed the wrong number young man: .......oh im sorry, you're absolutely right, silly me! woman: don't worry about it. young man: (chuckles) click

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why did the jew cross the road? the ss was chasing him and his family to kill him so he ran across the street to same his family, he got hit by a truck and his family was killed...

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What's Mexico's favorite sport? Cross Country

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What is long and hard that a bride gets on her wedding night? An erect penis.

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why shouldn't hellen keller drive? because she's a woman

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What did the Lightning Bolt say to the Thunder Cloud? WATTSup?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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