Why was the alcoholic unable to pass a stool when he sat down on the toilet? Because he did it on the floor.

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whats at the end of the rainbow? Purple

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because she had no legs. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally...

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Roses are red violets are blue your mother is pretty what happened to you.

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What did the children in India eat for dinner?

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Bushes are Red, Trees are Red... my garden is on fire...

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A nuclear reactor explodes and all the waste are going straight out in the ocean. Sucks to be a fish.

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Victor. Victor who? Victor Secret, the gay door to door lingerie salesman. Can i interest you in a plastic cup holder?

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Why was the boy crying? Because his parents were in a car crash and died and his grandparents were already dead and he got cancer for christmas. And he had no testicles

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Little Davie was a kid with no arms and legs and one day his friends Came to his house and knocked on the door and asked for little Davie And asked if he wanted to come play baseball..Little Davie replied "I'd Love to but I have no arms or legs" his friends say we know that..We were Just needing a second base..

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Whats worse than an oompa loompa a black midget

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costum

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what do you do to get a guy to vomit?? kick him in the balls!

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Knock Knock Who's there? A bag of burning crap.

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Two generals went for a trip, it went very well in general.

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What does Tupac and Elvis Presley have in common? They're dead but most of the people think they aren't.

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a potato flew around my room

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Michael Jackson walks into a daycare center.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Blonds are cute and so are u.

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How do you give Salley enough energy swim against the river current? Add your own electric current.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident, you're entire family is dead.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Why did I write this anti-joke? Because I am generally not that funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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