Two men walk in to a bar, one buys a beer. The second receives a phone call and leaves.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Why did the dude fall into a box? Because he was hit by a bus.

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What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

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Chinese food tastes so oriental sometimes, sort of like asian food

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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How do you make a Russian baby cry? Punch it in the face

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Where can find a man who owns a white van capable of transporting many children? Most local churches have them for mission work. I would contact a local minister.

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Yo mamma's so fat, at her last annual checkup her attending physician informed her that if she did not attempt to control her weight gain through a careful moderation of her diet and began exercising on a regular basis, that her obesity would soon manifest itself in a variety of chronic health conditions that would permanently alter her ability to enjoy life and could significantly decrease her lifespan.

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What's the most common pickup line in a gay bar? "Hi, may I buy you a drink?"

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Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Q:why did the boy fall off the swing A:he had no arms Q:why couldn't he get up A:he had no legs Q:why did he die A:he fell in a puddle

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What did the hooker say to her employer after 1 hour....you owe my $20

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head are trapped on a desert island together After many days without food, they resort to cannibalism. The blonde eats the brunette, and the red-head eats the blonde. The red-head eventually dies once the water supply runs out.

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What is the hardest part about rollerblading? Most commonly the balance part.

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What is Megan Fox's middle name? Denise

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

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What is black and white and red all over? Two Nuns in a chainsaw fight.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He quickly works on treating the injuries he had received from hitting his head against the bar when he had walked into it.

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Nock Nock It's open.

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Why didn't Timmy have a girlfriend ??? Because he's a Fruit bowl !

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roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you wh*re

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Yo Mama is so old that she is probably unable to become pregnant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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