Mommy mommy I don't want to see grandma. Shut up and keep digging.

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A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand "Quack"! because he's a duck... and that's what ducks do.

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Why was Jimmy upset? There is a frog taped to his face.

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Yo mamas so fat that she decided to get a gastric bypass to help lose the weight.

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Your mama is so stupid that she thought Brendan Fraser was a good actor.

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Why did the banana go to the hospital? It didnt, bananas cannot speak or walk. It is a simple fact so you should know.

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a man walks into a bar he got hurt

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It can never be certain, as chickens are incapable of communicating.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He didn't know there was a step and tripped loudly. Other bargoers saw this and helped him up, he was given a beer on the house.

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What do blacks and the night have in common? Their both worse than when it's light

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"Doctor, Doctor I think I am a pair of curtains" The man was swiftly referred to the psychiatric ward.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate black people, and mexicans too.

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Potassium? K.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Having legs.

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how come so many people die every year due to starvation? They don't have enough food and there aren't nearly enough spider monkeys in North America.

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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What did the African want for breakfast? Ebola cereal

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ow".

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Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a woman? Two people of the opposite gender having sex.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops