How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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What animal has four legs and one hand? Happy rottweiler

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Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

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A Mexican, an Asian, a black guy, a white guy, a Jew, and a hispanic............... i forgot.

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That's not what she said.

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knock knock ... no one was in

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Why was the baby ant confused? Because his uncles were ants

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Where did a homeless man find his easter eggs? In the bin.

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Why did 3 blacks guys start watching the first Star Wars movie on Saturday night? They finished the Back to the Future movies on Friday.

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A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

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What happened to the peanut who went to NYC? Nothing because he was eaten on the plane

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

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How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No soap, radio!

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Why did the man have a hole in his head? He was shot.

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Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

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i like pie.

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How do you save a black man from drowning? You throw him a flotation device.

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A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?" The bartender, millions of times larger than the infinitesimally small subatomic particle, does not hear his question and so does not reply.

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Why was 97 afraid of 98? Because 98,99, 100!

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When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

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Roses are red violets are blue your mother is pretty what happened to you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because potatos are invading russia

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Roses are red, violets are blue a face like yours belongs in a zoo. Don't you worry I'll be there too, not in the cage but laughing at you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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