Why wasn't the black guy allowed into the bar? Because the bar was closed.

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what do you get if you eat cream cake, coffee cake, strawberry cake, chocolate cake, fruit cake, and sponge cake? a very large stomach-cake.

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How do you stop a Polish army on horseback? With artillery.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kidnap his family.

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Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

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Why did the child get hit by a bus? He was blind.

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What did the 5 cent store clerk say to the customer? That will be 5 cents.

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Q: What happened to the dead baby? A: It was Buried

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Two robots walk into a bar, just kidding, they have Polio.

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What happens when you shoot a bear and you kill it? It dies.

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Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

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What is the square root of 69? 8.306623863

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What is worse then dropping the soap? Not being able to pick it back up.

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Now Showing: EVIL SLOTHS II "The worst death is a slow death."

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The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

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Q. What do you call 2 black men on a bike? A. Organised Crime

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What happens when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant? Absolutely nothing. The two belong to entirely different animal families and their reproductive abilities are totally incompatible. A kangaroo could never fertilize an elephant, or vice versa. To suggest anything else is unrealistic and a physical impossibility.

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why was the boy sad? because he was raped by a clown.

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The WNBA.

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please dislike this or else i will continue writing this, lalalalalalalalalallalalalalallalalalalalalalallaallaalallalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalallalalaallalalalalalallalalalalalallalalalalalalallalalalalalalla

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You's so ugly you should consider facial reconstruction surgery if it's covered by your insurance.

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A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit stumbles into a genie while coming to a clearing. The Genie says, "I will give you both three wishes." The bear thinks quickly and says, "I wish every bear in the forest was female." The Genie then grants the wish. "And...now I wish that each bear in the country was female!" The Genie grants the wish. "AND I WISH THAT EVERY BEAR IN THE WORLD WAS FEMALE!!!" the bear exclaims, now getting overly excited by his wishes. The Genie grants the last wish and then turns to the rabbit. "Your turn." The rabbit wishes for a pair of running shoes and the well being of his family and friends. For his last wish he points at the bear and says, "I wish he was gay."

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Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!" The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Bob has been missing since Friday.

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Q: What do a duck and a bicycle have in common? A: They both have handlebars except for the duck!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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