Q: What do you get when you stand a blonde on her head? A: HORSE DICK

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Why did the boys uncle stop calling him? His uncle died of cancer 3 months ago.

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Punch line.

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Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To eat it of course

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I would rape her

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How do you lose your train of thought? You can't. It is impossible to fit a full size locomotive in the human skull.

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what did one muffin say to the other in the oven? Nothing because they were both baked at 500 degrees and died

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Kid: mom what happens when grandpa farts? Mom: well son... Everyone leaves the room

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? The two ships suffered major damageand sank, killing over 100 people. The families of the passengers mourned their loss.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender says"What do u want?" The ducks replays "EVERY DAY IM SHUFFLING!!!" The bartender slaps the duck in its face and quid his job. The bar has a hard time finding a replacement and his business dies. THE END

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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What did one hipster say to the other hipster? I'm not a hipster.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? I can't think of one at the moment...

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Roses are Black. Violets are Green. im going to go cut myself now

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Whats worse than a little kid falling. Him getting vigorously raped by his father every night.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *smiles* Did what hurt? Boy: When you broke through the Earth's crust ascending from hell.

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What's the difference between watermelon and baby? I don't eat watermelon.

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What did the Muslim say to the Sikh? "Hello. Lovely weather today."

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Why did the mushroom get invited to the party? He is a fun-gi!!

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What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies? My wife didn't cheat on me in a pile of dead babies.

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What has wheels and flies? A wheel that I have altered so it can fly

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What did the fat man with scissors do? Cut off the foreskin of your penis.

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Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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