I had sex with your mom. It was f*cking terrible.

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"Welcome to Mcdonalds, Would you like to try our new Chicken BigMac today?" "No"

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What do you call a black man running with a TV? A hard working individual who is in a rush to watch his new TV that he bought.

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Why was the baby crying? Because you repeatly hit it in the face with a brick, you sick freak.

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A tree walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the log face?".

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Why did it take so long for the baby's to paint my wall? I didn't throw them hard enough.

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What has legs but can't walk? A paralyzed man.

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What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

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whats a dick a dick

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you know what they say about men with big feet... damn you got some big feet.

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Punch line.

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A hispanic lesbian couple accidentally walk into a country western themed bar. And leave immediately as a bar is no place for their 2 year old son.

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why shouldn't hellen keller drive? because she's a woman

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A man adopts an orphan. He waits till the child is a teenager to tell the news. He then commits suicide as to scar the child emotionally for the rest of its life.

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A man walks in to a bar and says "ouch."

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What did the overweight blind kid get for Christmas? His parents died in a tragic car crash and he was left alone, fat and blind to fend for himself

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Shit Happens....or sometimes it doesn't! As the person is taken to the hospital with severe constipation.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender says"What do u want?" The ducks replays "EVERY DAY IM SHUFFLING!!!" The bartender slaps the duck in its face and quid his job. The bar has a hard time finding a replacement and his business dies. THE END

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Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "You man the guns, i'll drive."

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What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

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Every sixty seconds in Africa... a minute passes - plz like to save Africa!

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What did the dog say to the cat? I have no idea. I wasn't there.

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I ponder

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Why? Whats wrong?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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