What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

Your mom is so fat that when she went to the Doctors, He said she was slightly over weight

What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

Roses are red Violates are blue Go to hell I hate you

The shopkeeper said to a customer, "It's raining cats and dogs!" The customer said, "Okay, I'll take eight of them."

Q. If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early worm get? A. Eaten...

Roses are grey Violets are grey Because I'm colorblind

YOU

Ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass...! I said "ass" a lot, sorry for the language

Why is Dominic's nick name big D? Because the first letter in his name is D.

Knock Knock! Whose there? Adolf Hitler

Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

what did the blind deaf mute boy get for christmas? some nice presents.

Roses are red Voilets are blue I have a gun Get in the Van

What do you call a guy with four heart chambers, two pairs of extremities, and an aortic arch? Anatomically normal.

Because you killed my Llama. He was my best-friend.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. :D

Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater.

Two cannibals were eating a man, one at the top and one at the bottom. The cannibal at the top said, "are you having fun down there?" The cannibal at the bottom said, "yeah, I'm having a ball!"

Knock, knock. Whose there? Tits. Tits, who? SUCK EM'!

Q:Why did the boy cry? A: because his mom was hit by a bus Q: why did the boy wipe his face? A:he was covered in his mother blood and threatened all the witness who saw him push his mother into the bus

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...