"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why does the man with no legs call for help? because he woke up to find that he had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: why did the guys neck hurt after the car crash A: he had a sun burn

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Vietnam veteran see on Christmas that changed his life? Nothing, he was blind. He continued to live his life in the same way, begging for drug money and getting bullied by all the other homeless vets.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

wanna hear a joke. i do to

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did you insult me and then punch me in the face? The hell if you care anymore, I killed you straight after. Neo-Nero. (Rest in peace Nero7 better known as The Moral Man, I hope I can one day live up to your greatness.) Moral: "Keep your spirits up, we are all going to die sometime, but life means nothing if we lose faith in ourselves and each other" Moral 2: "Nero Septimus, that will be my first and last moral that made a figment of fucking sense, if you are watching from whatever comes from life, I know that this is what you would have done, but just so you know and always wanted for us that followed you, I am doing this for my own goddamn fucking self, respects... Now if your ghost is still watching, get the fuck out of my room you damn cripple, and know that your arm is somewhere in the basement because its so goddamn bad ass that it fucking freaks me out, and so fucking heavy that I think you where some sort of superhuman, now gtfo, as you taught us, we cant focus on the goddamn afterlife, if we are gonna get the best out of life and the present, adios amigo"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths and thus suffered from survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

GOODJESUSLORDALMIGHTY dis boy myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i can't even................ fhrejhklgfjgtedlfcgrbh http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+stupid&start=231&hl=en&safe=active&sa=X&biw=1022&bih=539&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnso&tbnid=6-GniQ6ct-j0HM:&imgrefurl=http://katiespilling.blogspot.com/&docid=6oY2cEt2v

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do people read Bibles? To learn about God.

thumb_up thumb_down

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Digress

thumb_up thumb_down

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down

There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

thumb_up thumb_down

What was even more disgusting than the holocaust? Lucy's new shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down

Yo mamma's so old... oh way no she's dead

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walks into a crowded bar and orders a beer. The bartender doesn't hear him due to the background noise of everyone talking and the man has to repeat his order.

thumb_up thumb_down

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down

YEAH THEY DO.

thumb_up thumb_down

sticks and stones may break my bones but hemophilia will make me bleed to death

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats brown,looks like a.dike,and is a whore. Marcella

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you get if you take the head off a Koala and a Wombat and swap them around? A bloody mess and about 4 years in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why doesn't business go well for pizzeria Vesuvio? Their chef has been dead since many years.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats funnier than a Dead Baby in a bathtub? Nothing Thats as good as it gets!

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats worse than the Holocaust? - Getting killed in the Holocaust. Whats worse than that? - Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops