What did the overweight blind kid get for Christmas? His parents died in a tragic car crash and he was left alone, fat and blind to fend for himself

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Punch line.

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I had sex with your mom. It was f*cking terrible.

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? 2 weeks to live...

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Q: What do you get when you stand a blonde on her head? A: HORSE DICK

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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Why did the boys uncle stop calling him? His uncle died of cancer 3 months ago.

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what's black and blue and red all over? nothing, you're and idiot.

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Q:Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree A: No

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Kid: mom what happens when grandpa farts? Mom: well son... Everyone leaves the room

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender says"What do u want?" The ducks replays "EVERY DAY IM SHUFFLING!!!" The bartender slaps the duck in its face and quid his job. The bar has a hard time finding a replacement and his business dies. THE END

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Did you hear about the red ship and the blue ship that collided? The two ships suffered major damageand sank, killing over 100 people. The families of the passengers mourned their loss.

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Boy: If you didn't have feet, would you wear socks? Girl: No. Boy: Then why do you wear a bra?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's drivers license had been revoked for all of it's DWI's.

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Whys it so cold? Nuclear winter.

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What has wheels and flies? A wheel that I have altered so it can fly

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What is worse than 20 babies stapled to trees? 1 baby stapled to 20 trees.

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What did one hipster say to the other hipster? I'm not a hipster.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? I can't think of one at the moment...

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There are four worms walking in a straight line. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The fourth worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied!

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Whats worse than a little kid falling. Him getting vigorously raped by his father every night.

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What did the Muslim say to the Sikh? "Hello. Lovely weather today."

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What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies? My wife didn't cheat on me in a pile of dead babies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops