What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

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How do you get a clown of a swing? Hit it with an ax.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it can do whatever the hell it wants

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You know what big feet mean? Big socks

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69

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obama leadership

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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Why was the little girl blowing bubbles in the swimming pool? Because she was drowning

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-Knock knock! -Who's there? -A kazoo. -A kazoo who? -A small, simple musical instrument consisting of a hollow pipe with a hole in it, over which is a thin covering that vibrates and produces a buzzing sound when the player sings or hums into the pipe.

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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Women's rights.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy.

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Are you from Africa? Because you're black.

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A man is approached by a mysterious character in the streets, offering to tell him a dark and amazing tale. The man declines and walks away.

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Knock knock Who's there This is the police, open the door. I don't know anybody by that name

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What did the apple say to the orange? The apple did not say anything at all because fruits do not possess the ability of speech.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to order a couple drinks, and shortly leaves after drinking them, later ending up in a fatal car accident.

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A fat man and his dog walk into a bar...the man buys a beer and walks out

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Who would win in a fight between a polar bear and a tiger? Considering that they live in different habitats, the chances are very unlikely that they would ever interact.

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what would Michael jakson do if he was alive? scream and hit the top of his coffin

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costum

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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penus

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What is purple and crawls? A wounded grape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops