What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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Why did the potato commit suicide? Forget that. Why was the potato alive in the first place?

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what did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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What did the widow get for her birthday? Nothing from her husband.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

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What's green and gets people high? A green helicopter

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Why did the house burn down? Because I set it on fire.

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What has one eye, three arms and one leg? A really weird person.

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

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What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

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I'm so hot my father calls me son.

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What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

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Why is Dominic's nick name big D? Because the first letter in his name is D.

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JLo made a song about my diick- "On the Floor"

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What is different between a pile of dead infants and a red ferrari? Being the victim of a mass murder.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems show me your boobs

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Knock Knock Who's there? A mormon *slam*

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How did the fat man avoid getting dehydrated? Fat men don't excersise and therefore cannot become dehydrated.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Because I'm colorblind

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pete. I'm here to tell you that your entire family just died in a car accident.

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What did John the accountant do when he saw a flying dog, He woke up from a wonderful dream and started his day

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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