What did the boy find on his laptop? -Nothing, he comes from a broken home and can't afford one.

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What's worse than finding a bone in your boneless chicken meal? Going home to find your entire family brutally murdered.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

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What has 4 legs and doesn't bark? A dead dog.

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Mac: Hi, I'm a Mac! PC: And I'm a PC. Steve Jobs died.

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What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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A man walks into the market. He asks a young attractive employee in a smooth voice, "Do you have any honey here, baby?" The employee responds, "No sir. I'm sorry."

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What did the african american ninja say to the jewish bartender? Can I have a beer?

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is embarrassed but realises it has nothing to do with his dyslexia.

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You can have it.

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Why don't NBA basketball players shake hands after a game like players in NHL hockey...? ...Because it's a tradition in then NHL.

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What is the difference between Boyscouts and Jews? Boyscouts come home from camp.

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I forgot how to throw a boomerang and then it came back to me.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a ferrari? A: The dead baby was once alive, while the ferrari couldn't possibly have lived since it's a car and cars are inanimate objects.

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What's funnier than 24? 25

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Why was the white man rich and the black man poor? Because when the white man was 11 and he didn't have a job because 11 year olds don't get hired, because its not legal, he use to pick up pennies. And when the black man was 11 he got a job mowing lawns and ended up being a lawyer graduate and spent the rest of his life paying off his school loan. The white man lived in the 70's and the black man lived in he twentieth century.

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Q. Why was the blonde fired from the M+M factory? A.She was addicted to meth.

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A brown haired girl and a blonde girl are driving through a cornfield. Because of this illegal activity, they are sent to court and given 8 years in the state prison.

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

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knock knock whose there the hospital staff your mom just died of AIDS

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yo mamas so fat she weighs a lot.

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what did the police do when they saw an arab running towards a building? Watched him run by because he was probably late for something

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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