A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbi "why the long face?" The rabbi says "to get to the other side." Seeing the puzzled look on the bartender's face, the priest says, "orange you glad he didn't say banana?"

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(Put joke here)

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Your mama's so poor, that it's hard for her to pay her bills.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He orders whiskey. An American enters the same bar. He orders a beer. A blonde Frenchwoman enters the same bar. She says "Gimme whatever the Irisman ordered! Double it! He's cool!" She started talking to the American

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What's green and has wheels? PAIN!!! I lied about the green and the wheels.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, I'm blind

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What's the best thing about 27 year old's? There are 20 of them.

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A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

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What did the Mexican man say to the American man? Nothing. Neither of them spoke the same language.

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Jim and Dave walk into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll it be?" Dave is black.

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Why was the boy sitting alone? Because all his friends died.

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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Why can't Helen Keller Drive? Because she's a women. Why can't Stephen Hawking speak freely with his voice? Because he's autistic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? "THE chicken" indicates a definite article, you really would have to specify which chicken you're talking about so i can identify whether i was there at the given moment that the chicken tried to cross the road and to ask it his reason for attempting it.

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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Wanna hear a dead baby joke? Of course you don't. they're sick and disgusting and enjoyment of one merits only the deepest of society's hatred and scorn.

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Why did the blonde fail her driving test? She was paralyzed and had down syndrome.

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What is the defference between an apple and a banana? Horses, because vests have no sleeves.

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Whats black and crying after 10 minute my wife's eyes when she left the kitchen

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Chuck Norris doesn't answer the phone - he doesn't have one at the moment

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Hi? No!!!!!

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if youre reading this its probably because youre on anti-joke.com

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What do you have if you have a green ball in your right hand and a green ball in your left hand? Two green balls.

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How do you starve a blonde? You tie them up and deprive them of any food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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