Roses are red, That much is true, but Violet are purple, not ****ing blue

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There were 4 black people in a Cadillac driving off a cliff. The sad thing was it was a nice car.

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Q: What did the dumb blonde say when she opened a box of Cheerios? A: Look! Donut seeds!

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.... Take my wife..... .... She is lovely....

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five high school freshmen get into a car on a Friday.They are too busy looking forward to the weekend that they speed into oncoming traffic and all die in a horrible collision.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Well why don't you open the door and find out!

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Knock Knock Whos there? I dunno I didnt answer the door

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Why did the boy drop his Ice cream? A terrorist threw a refrigerator at him.

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What does a joke and an anti-joke have in common? Nothing, since "anti-" refers to the opposite of the word that it is modifying.

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Q: What's black and white, and red all over ? A: A penguin in a blender.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the face like yours belongs to the zoo. Please don't be sad, 'cos I'll be there too.. Not in the cage but laughing at you!

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly 10 consecutive times in the head with a knife.

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what did the chicken say to the vet? nothing chickens dont talk

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Q: What do you call three black people in a car? A: Maltesers

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What's big, yellow, and can't swim? A school bus.

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How much is a pet whale? $1350.99

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was a woman

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

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Q: What is, in full, Donald Trump's speech to the Republican National Convention? A: This. I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! I'm Donald Trump! I'm Donald Trump! Trump trump trump trump trump trump trump! Trump tromp troomp trimp treemp tramp trump trump trump!

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What's Worse Than Unripened Fruit? Crippling Depression.

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Why was the black man hand cuffed by a woman cop? Because they are a married couple who feel like role play will help spark their sex life again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops