Why did the chicken cross the road To get to your house Knock knock: whos there? The chicken duh

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Why i'm breathing? I don't want die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he was hungry and mcdonalds was across the street

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A man walked into a Persian dentist office. After a few hours he leaves the office with his mouth feeling much better because the oral-surgery went exeptionally well.

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Why was it true for sure? It was on wikipedia.

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What is worse then North Korea trying to blow up everybody? Peter Griffin twerking.

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What did your mom say when Quinn Griffith Randel walked in the door? Hi.

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what do you get when a bear and a man mix a really pissed off bear and a dead man

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What's black and blue and red all over? A baby right after I kill it

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You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

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A blonde and a brunette both starred in a TV show.. It was called Beavis and Butthead.

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Your social life.

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A drunk man is that last one inside a very popular bar. He passed out on the counter before he ordered a drink. The bartender is angry at a sale lost, which would have been his millionth sale before closing time on the 1000th day of business. He goes home and hangs himself.

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Why did the cat explode on the street? Cause i put a grenade in a fridge and then threw it at it.

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What is faster than a black guy stealing a TV? His brother with a DVR

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roses are red , violets are blue , sugar is sweet and so are you. the roses are wilting the violets are dead. the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head

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Why did 12 people die when they went to see The Dark Knight Rises movie premiere? Because they were shot and bled profusely resulting in quick, painful death.

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What did the man with five penises say? I have 5 penises.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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Why could'nt the boy eat peanuts? Because if he did he would proceed to have an allergic reaction, his throat would swell up, he would go into analeptic shock and die.

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How do you make a ninja fly a plane? You put a gun to his head and say fly this plane.

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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What happened when the Neo-Nazi ran into a group of black people? He listened to their struggles, heard their stories, accepted their diversity and eventually hung up his hateful ways.

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A Man walks in to a bar and orders a pint of lager, he notices something floating on the top of his drink so he calls over the bartender. "Excuse me, I think there's something in my dr-" The man's sentence was cut short as a man with a gun had just walked into the bar. He killed everyone, there were no survivors.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops